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Weeping


 I recently heard a song about how weeping endures for a night, but only one night though. I'm not knocking the song, but I often wish it was only for a night though. Sometimes that night is an extremely long night. Sometimes tears are all we have to offer for the situation. Sometimes every teardrop is a desperate prayer for something to change in our lives. 

I have to be honest. I don't always cry. Sometimes a reaction video to a returning soldier or a children's adoption video will get me, but most of the time I am pretty logical. However, in this season I have found myself crying a bit more than usual. Not getting the job, not getting my wife pregnant, not having certainty about how I am going to pay the bills, and carrying it all on my shoulders. I can tell my wife it will be better, but in my heart fear, frustration, and disappointment come together to create weeping in the privacy of my solitude. Every tear is a cry for help from my heavenly Father. I don't understand how I can do what is right and still struggle. My tears are the seeking, asking, and knocking in that moment; hoping He will allow me to find, answer me, and open the door for me. 

When I have done all I can do, prayed all I can pray, and cried all I can cry. All I can do is stand on God's word in Jeremiah 17:7 which says that the man who puts his trust in the Lord is blessed. Lord help my trust in you stand even in the midst of my tears.

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