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Good Grief, Good God


 I have seen true miracles. Over the years I have seen God heal two little girls who had a blood disorder. I have seen God heal a woman of cancer. I have seen an older gentleman slump over in a pew in front of me, lifeless, and the prayer of those around him brought him back. I even watched as God healed a mysterious mass that was in our dog's chest. One week the X-ray showed a huge mass, and after prayer, the mass was no longer there. So, when my 19-year-old sister got cancer, I just knew I would see another miracle.

When my sister first got cancer, we immediately went into prayer mode. Family and friends took their time to speak her name before God for healing. After months of prayer and occasional fasting, we finally heard that the cancer was in remission. We rejoiced, we thanked God, and then we moved on to other things in life. However, after a few months, the cancer came back. So, we did what we did before because it worked. We prayed, we fasted, and we asked the prayer warriors to go into prayer. We continued to believe in her healing, even as our eyes watched her body become thinner by the day. Then she died.

I was truly heartbroken. Not only had I watched God heal her of cancer before, I had seen God cure cancer two other times already. If God could heal my dog, surely He would heal my sister. Yet, she was now dead at 19. I had barely begun to build a relationship with her, and now she was gone. All the future hopes that I had to bless my siblings one day had to now be modified in the saddest of ways. 

Where is God in the midst of my grief? Is He still a good God? While walking out the pain of this loss with God, there were good days and bad days. What gives me hope is that God feels the pain that I go through, and walks with me through it. Hebrews 4:15 states that "we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses". Jesus wept when Mary and Martha lost their brother, and He wept with me at the loss of my sister. 

I pray that in the midst of your grief, you will give Him a chance to be a good God in your life. 

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