It used to be so easy! I remember when I was a newly converted Christian. It seemed like I would barely pray and my prayer would be answered. When I went through problems, God would immediately come to my rescue. I truly felt loved and protected by God during those times, and there was never much uncertainty and fear when it came to God working in my life. However, I started to be in the Lord's presence much longer, and it seemed like He didn't respond the same. He still provided, but it was often at the last possible moment. He still protected me, but it seemed like I still was allowed to get some scratches and bumps along the way. What in the world is going on here?
Since I had father issues, much of the times when God didn't "sprint" to help me, felt like abandonment. Getting sick for a long time; putting in over 30 applications, and not being hired right away; seeking housing stabilization. All of these times felt like God was not keeping His promise. Hebrews 13:5 clearly says that He will never leave me nor forsake me, but there are times in my I have felt left and forsaken. However, I have come to realize that in God's love, He doesn't want me to stay a baby Christian; He wants me to grow. Christians like muscles require resistance to grow. How can we know He heals if we are never sick? How can we know He provides if we are never desperate? How can we know He will never leave us if we can still trust He is there even when we are not feeling Him?
Lifting heavy weights is not fun, feeling sore all day is not fun. The soreness affects our walk, and our posture, and keeps us in much discomfort. However, when it heals, we find that we are able to do more with the new strength we have obtained than we could before. Growing pains are very uncomfortable, but they are a sign that we are growing. God's greatest plan for our life besides a relationship with us, is that we become mature in Him.
I pray that we won't just go through it, but we will grow through it.
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