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The Parent Trap


 When my father died all I inherited was unfinished business. When I got that call that he passed away from my sister, I hadn't talked to my father in almost seven or eight years. We didn't have the best relationship all throughout my childhood, and I stayed away as a young adult to shield myself from further pain and disappointment. Without demonizing him, I will just tell you that my father was critical of me at worst and absent at best. Most of my limited time spent with him growing up was a mixture of wanting to please him and crying in the bathroom due to another critical joke at my expense. I later learned that he did this to make me tough in a harsh world, but it really just created wounds around the concept of a father.

When I committed my life to Jesus that was the easy part. The freedom that came with being forgiven by Christ's sacrifice was fully and completely liberating. However, seeing God as a Father was, and at times still is a struggle. When I was able to be on my best behavior, it was extremely easy to receive the love of God as a Father towards me. Yet, whenever I messed up, I would hide from God until enough time passed for me to come back. I also mistook any silence from God as the same as the abandonment I often felt from my earthly father. While God is a better parent than I could imagine, I measured God's actions based on the ones I was more familiar with.

That is the parent trap. Often times we find ourselves comparing God the Father to whatever earthly father we have. If we have a great father then it is easier to trust the great fathering of God. However, when there are father issues, we can struggle to see God clearly. I pray that God will heal our hurts so that we can see Him as Father the way that Jesus describes Him as Father.


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