Seeking Sonship 101

  It used to be so easy! I remember when I was a newly converted Christian. It seemed like I would barely pray and my prayer would be answered. When I went through problems, God would immediately come to my rescue. I truly felt loved and protected by God during those times, and there was never much uncertainty and fear when it came to God working in my life. However, I started to be in the Lord's presence much longer, and it seemed like He didn't respond the same. He still provided, but it was often at the last possible moment. He still protected me, but it seemed like I still was allowed to get some scratches and bumps along the way. What in the world is going on here? Since I had father issues, much of the times when God didn't "sprint" to help me, felt like abandonment. Getting sick for a long time; putting in over 30 applications, and not being hired right away; seeking housing stabilization. All of these times felt like God was not keeping His promise. Hebrew...

  I just wanted to make God proud of me. I was in college, and I needed a job to be able to live off campus. The school was more expensive if you lived in the dorms, and I already was borrowing a lot of money that I knew I would have to pay back someday. What better job than to work for a church. I had already cleaned with my grandparents from the time I was ten years old, and now I could be paid for making God's house look good. It was a win-win situation. Boy was I wrong. At first, I just swept, vacuumed, mopped, wiped, lifted, organized, moved, and thrown out with a song of praise in my heart. I knew that I was cleaning "up the temple for my Lord", and I felt like what I was doing was pleasing to God. Then things changed. At our work meetings, we would be told things like "You should be happy to even have a job at all". The pastor would find trash on the other side of the church, walk up to me, and place the trash in my hand to throw away. Then, during servic...

  Nope, I don't even measure up! Often times when we see someone being more "saved" than us. or when we sin and feel ashamed, we often don't "feel saved". I know at times, for me, when I really blow it in traffic, or in my marriage, or in my life, I feel as though I will never live up to a godly standard. I often look at where I wanted to be, and realize that I have fallen short every time. How will I ever be the man of God that I desire in my heart to be? When I first started working out again, it was easy to become discouraged when the scale leaped up and down like a bucking bronco. It would have been easier to just do cardio, but lifting weights was necessary to becoming healthier as well. However, doing it the rigt way caused me to struggle. What helped is that one trainer stated, "Don't focus on where you want to be, focus on where you were before you started." Where I want to be is on fitness model status, but I had more muscle and less f...

  I met my wife nearly thirteen years ago. I met her on a Christian dating site, and we talked for about two months before we decided to meet. I had put my original search for up to two hours away, so I had no problem driving up to see her. However, when I started to drive up to see her, I realized that it was actually a 6.5-hour drive from where I lived in San Diego. At first, I could only drive up to see her every other month, which meant that the majority of our communication was by phone. The distance made it harder for us to truly know each other. Once we were married, over six years ago, our level of intimacy increased. We were able to truly know each other. We learned our likes and dislikes, triggers, joys, loves, and fears. Putting time in daily created a deeper level of relationship. This deeper level of relationship has created a deeper level of love and trust. It is not just because we live together, but because we spend intentional time together. It is not about the amo...

Sometimes in trying to win people for Christ, historically, we have made promises to people that God's word had never made. Furthermore, sometimes we have been told that we can give enough or have faith enough to avoid tribulations. While there are instances where giving can turn things around, often we are left disappointed when we still have to walk through trying times. Sadly, sometimes we are made to believe that when we go through situations it is due to our lack of faith or because of sin in our lives. We can sometimes have buyer's remorse because we were led to believe the Christian life would be smooth sailing. Jesus never promised that following Him would remove every obstacle in this world, in fact, sometimes following Him creates new problems. Look at the lives of the disciples of Jesus, all of them were killed for their beliefs. Paul lists all the stonings, beatings, and shipwrecks he endured of the gospel. We can lose friends, family members, spouses, children, job...

  Video games were something I thoroughly enjoyed when I had time for them. Back in the day when all I was responsible for was good grades and myself, video games kept me entertained for hours. Eventually, the game got old, and it was time to exchange it for a "new to me" game. I would STOP by, a store I will not name, to exchange my GAMES. When I bought a game from this place it was normal price, or a bit of a discount. However, when I would sell a game to them, I would get a small store credit or cashback amount. I would even see the same game I just traded on the rack for much more than I was given for the exact same game. The majority of the time the exchange favors the entity with more power which makes it an unfair exchange for the one in need.  Rarely, does the unfair exchange give the needy one more than they had to bring. Jesus is the true exception to this rule. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says "He made Christ who knew no sin to be sin in our be sin on our behalf so tha...

I love to watch thunderstorms from the comfort of my own home. I love to smell the moisture of the air, watch the puddles as they form on the ground,  and listen to the soothing sounds of the rain against the objects outside. I love to have a storm around me, but be safe in my covering to fully enjoy it. I don't like to be the person running from the car to the house with groceries in my hand. I don't like to have my clothing drenched in water. I don't like running past puddles to avoid electrocution. Basically, I love thunderstorms that don't affect me.  In Matthew, we read about how the disciples were in a storm that made them fear for their lives. They became so afraid, but when they came to Jesus, He commented something interesting. Jesus said in Matthew 8:26, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" How they responded to the storm in fear, elicited Jesus's assessment of their faith. The word used there is  oligópistos which means little in number...

 When I was growing up in an AME church, I got to see many men in the church. They would come in Sunday after Sunday with their wives, dressed in full suits with shiny shoes. They would spend the few minutes before service talking about work, and sports, and making small talk. I would watch these men stand up for their families and their faith. I would especially enjoy seeing them sneak out to their cars to listen to the game on Sundays when the reverend became a bit long-winded. I would watch as older deacons would stand up and sing old songs during testimony time. Once an older man gave me $20 to get a nice pair of "church shoes" when he saw that I was greeting with the other kids wearing my tennis shoes. As I began to grow older, I realized that there were less men in suits around me. There weren't many men standing up to sing songs and give testimonies. Less men were laughing and making small talk, or fixing things around the church building. Soon there were only wome...

 It is amazing how long a game of peek-a-boo can keep a young child entertained. I spent, what felt like hours, playing this game with my nieces and nephews. It seems as if every time you cover and uncover your face, you are doing magic right in front of them. In psychology, the term is called object permanence. Basically, this means that objects continue to exist even when they can't be seen or heard. Young children still don't have this concept, therefore, every peek-a-boo is truly a vanishing act. As adults, we know that a person putting a hand over their face doesn't make them vanish. In fact, we would be pretty freaked out if someone did. However, with God, we often forget this concept. The time when I forgot that God did not vanish took place from June 2021 through May 2022. My wife and I went to a fast-food restaurant and got sick. She got better, but I got sicker and sicker. It got so bad that towards the end of that period of time, I could not feel my body and coul...

 I have seen true miracles. Over the years I have seen God heal two little girls who had a blood disorder. I have seen God heal a woman of cancer. I have seen an older gentleman slump over in a pew in front of me, lifeless, and the prayer of those around him brought him back. I even watched as God healed a mysterious mass that was in our dog's chest. One week the X-ray showed a huge mass, and after prayer, the mass was no longer there. So, when my 19-year-old sister got cancer, I just knew I would see another miracle. When my sister first got cancer, we immediately went into prayer mode. Family and friends took their time to speak her name before God for healing. After months of prayer and occasional fasting, we finally heard that the cancer was in remission. We rejoiced, we thanked God, and then we moved on to other things in life. However, after a few months, the cancer came back. So, we did what we did before because it worked. We prayed, we fasted, and we asked the prayer warri...

 "You're going to shoot your eye out, kid!" Every year I find great delight in this Christmas story. We watch as Ralphy goes to his father and asks for something that his heart desires greatly. Then we laugh as we watch Ralphy consistently pursue his heart's desire, only to constantly be disappointed again and again. In the end, we celebrate with Ralphy as his father gives him what he wanted most of all, and vicariously experience this happiness. Many of us have wanted something from the Father. We prayed for a job, financial help, healing, a change, and even for a child. We excitedly blurt it out to our Father with a wide smile on our face, but we don't get an answer right away. Just like Ralphy had to wait until Christmas to see that his asking was not in vain, we often have to wait until the time when God, our Father, reveals an answer to us. In the midst of the waiting, we can often become disappointed. For me, every month that it looks like my wife is pregnan...

I am knocking on the door of 40 years of age, and I decided that I needed to start getting into shape. I had been unhealthy for a while, and I want a better quality of life moving forward. So, I woke up, jumped out of bed, got my gym clothes on, and hurried to the gym. I had not even looked in the mirror. I just hurried to get to my destination before I talked myself back into the bed.  After my workout, I returned to my house and prepared to get myself together for the day. When I looked in the mirror, I looked like a whole mess. My hair was covered in a variety of different layers of lint, and my eyes still had some of the signs of a well-rested sleep. I had just gone out into the real world looking like I didn't care about myself at all. Had I taken a hard look in the mirror beforehand I could have made the necessary adjustments to my life.  The book of James compares the word of God to a mirror. When we take a hard look at it we can see areas of our lives that look good, b...

 Growing up, every camp movie seemed to have a moment where two teams came together to match their strength. Other than a wacky obstacle course where the underdogs would miraculously pull through, there was always the tug of war. Two opposing teams stood on either side of a line and had to pull a marker attached to a rope across it. When I finally experienced being on the other end of that rope it was a full test of will and strength. As a man of God, trying to walk upright, there is a tug of war inside. My flesh often tries to pull me in a direction back toward the life and ways that I gave up. The world is good at trying to entice the flesh of men towards sinful ways. Watching a commercial, playing a videogame, listening to the radio, and then it's right in your face. Not just lust, but it seems the harder you try to walk upright, the more you have to fight anger, unforgiveness, and pride that gives opportunities to pull you into something foolish. So how can a man keep his way p...

 When my father died all I inherited was unfinished business. When I got that call that he passed away from my sister, I hadn't talked to my father in almost seven or eight years. We didn't have the best relationship all throughout my childhood, and I stayed away as a young adult to shield myself from further pain and disappointment. Without demonizing him, I will just tell you that my father was critical of me at worst and absent at best. Most of my limited time spent with him growing up was a mixture of wanting to please him and crying in the bathroom due to another critical joke at my expense. I later learned that he did this to make me tough in a harsh world, but it really just created wounds around the concept of a father. When I committed my life to Jesus that was the easy part. The freedom that came with being forgiven by Christ's sacrifice was fully and completely liberating. However, seeing God as a Father was, and at times still is a struggle. When I was able to b...

Growing into a man of God is not as easy as a Superman transformation. Growing up I would watch the Superman Animated Serious as part of my weekly cartoon-watching routine. In every episode, Clark Kent would seamlessly switch from being a fumbling and bumbling reporter to the unstoppable Superman. Faster than a speeding bullet, and we would see a hero who fought for truth and justice. Many Christian men would love to be Superman for God. Many Christian men want to fight for the truth and justice of Jesus Christ in their lives, in their families, and in the world around them. Many times I have yearned to wrap myself in the red covering of redemption and fly into the fray of life as something opposite of the man I was when I stepped into the phone booth. However, it is not faster than a speeding bullet, and many times I have struggled to get off the ground. One thing that Superman has to aid him is his fortress of solitude. Within the fortress is a computer, that is in the image of his f...